My Wife and Kids

Potty Training With Patience

2010-12-04T17:56:00.000-08:00

We need your vote

2009-10-31T04:33:00.000-07:00

My beautiful boys have been entered into a GAP kids casting call. Gap is having an annual Casting Call in partnership with Disney Family.com, a family focused site. This year, marks the start of the Fan Favorite, in which the winner receives a seven-day/six-night family vacation to either Turks & Caicos or Jamaica from Beaches Resorts. So, vote one of my boys a fan favorite.

Weight loss excitement

2009-08-04T06:23:00.000-07:00

It's been a hot one. I've been in the mood lately for dresses and skirts because this summer has been pretty hot, in my opinion. I'm sure the air conditioner going out a few weeks ago has influenced my desire to wear the least amount of clothing as possible. Thank goodness it was fixed!
For me, "Ms. Modest", scantily clad seems to be a new trend this summer. Especially now that the numbers on the scale have been steadily dropping. As I lose weight I gain more confidence in the way I look and feel in my clothes.

It's funny how your mind works though. I am not used to going in my closet and have whatever I try on fit. Yesterday, was a celebration day as I put on a skirt I had previously been wearing every week because it was one of those "go to" items in my closet. Having worn sundresses and big tops for the past two months, I didn't realize I had dropped another pants size. I've gone from a 14 to a size 6 and couldn't be happier. I just want to say how excited I am to be back into my prepregnancy clothes.

I want to encourage anyone who is trying to reach a goal that seems to be full of setbacks. Weight is a big issue for so many people, especially in the U.S. where, according to the voice over on the new show "More to Love", the average woman wears at least a size 12. Whatever your goals in life may be I encourage you to write them down to make them more realistic and keep focused on your desired end result.

~Shalanda

No Honor for the Justice System

2009-07-26T02:22:00.000-07:00

If you have ever been cheated on, cheated out of money, or treated badly you have to read this about the Cunning Conman. For those of you who go about your lives swindling people...you really need to read this Cunning Conman story! link: http://shalandarian.today.com/2009/07/26/cunning-conman/

~Shalanda

Facebook Fan page

2009-07-14T18:38:00.000-07:00

I recently shared a quote with my FB fans for the TookesWilder Guidance fan page. Hopefully, it'll give you something to think about:

"I hope everyone is enjoying their summer and spending time with family. I have certainly enjoyed being on vacation these past couple of weeks, but it's nice to be back home. Here's something for you to think about: 'Present your family and friends with their eulogies now - they won't be able to hear how much you love them and appreciate them from inside the coffin.'"

TookesWilder Guidance on Facebook

We are family!!!

2009-07-01T18:34:00.000-07:00

I love my family! Every year, we get together for a reunion. This year, it was in Atlanta, GA, also referred to as the ATL. It was so nice seeing everyone again. We had a theme going on this year that centered around some popular t.v. shows. We had a singing contest (American Idol), comedy contest (Last Comic Standing), dance contest (So You Think You Can Dance) and a modeling contest (America's Next Top Model). No, I didn't participate in anything, but I did enjoy dancing with Darian until the d.j. blew the power out. Yes, the power went out temporarily. Some kids got caught up in the moon bounce and a few of us ran to the rescue to make sure they all got out safely.

Being in the south, you know we had a table full of sliced watermelon. I ate a lot this weekend and it didn't help that it was my birthday weekend and the baby's birthday week, too. These events were my excuse to eat cake slice after cake slice. I'm going to hit the treadmill hard come next week.

~Shalanda

I was honored to finally be able to attend the Tookes family reunion. We don't have to go around the world to have a family reunion. It's not about where you go, but who you see.

~Darian

Mommy's Night Out

2009-06-20T20:31:00.000-07:00

We had a blast hanging out in downtown
Savannah's Riverstreet. Tony Roma's on Bay
street has the best potato soup and you can't forget about Wet Willy's. Since I'm not a drinker, I never noticed this place before. It looked like all they sold were frozen daiquiris. Apparently, they have the best in town because the place was packed.

Joy Riders

2009-06-13T07:17:00.000-07:00

Here's what happens when idiot teenagers steal a car for what they call fun.

House Destroyed

2009-06-11T20:06:00.000-07:00

We were at McDonald's the other day, my least favorite fast food restaurant, when three police cars went zooming by. Less than a minute later a fire truck went rushing by, then another, and another. After not eating for fear of sickness we decided the kids had played enough and it was time to go.

On our way home, from the restaurant that always seems to make me sick, a road was filled with smoke and emergency vehicles. We could see that a house had caught on fire. Later, we found the house was unfortunately destroyed because the water pressure at the private neighborhood was not strong enough.

Apparently, the trucks had to bring their own water tanks. We saw close up pictures of the house on the news that night and seeing someone elses tragedy makes you thankful and causes your own problems to seem trivial.

The Foolishness of Youth: Graduation Story

2009-06-08T19:17:00.000-07:00

We attended a graduation party over the weekend. The graduate was the daughter of some long time friends of ours we met while serving in the Army. The daughter/graduate had been busy moving all weekend, but took some time to visit with us and talk to us about why she was moving the day of her graduation. In an effort to teach responsibility, her parents decided to charge her $150 a month for rent and asked her to come in at a decent hour. She thought this was a way to stifle her newly found freedom and said she would rather move out.

So, the parents agreed to rent out a home they own, which happens to be in walking distance, for $300 a month and she must still attend college. Of course, being new to the whole idea of freedom she thought this was a great deal. Sure, it's a great deal if you're making more than minimum wage. After doing the math, she is only going to have an extra $150 a month after paying for all the bills. Staying in the dorms, in her opinion, is worse than living at home. She said having her freedom was worth living paycheck to paycheck.

Unfortunately, she is going to have to pay for school because she is going to lose her full scholarship that requires her to attend school fulltime. There goes her $150. Maybe we should place bets on how long it'll be before she caves in and moves back home. If you did not come from an abusive home and you got to come and go as you please, not to mention free food and free cable, wouldn't you want to stay home with your parents? There seems to be a common trend among young people...know-it-all attitudes. We all know that pride comes before the fall.

Hopefully, this young lady will come to realize that there are easier ways to exert independence. Even still, we wish all our graduates the best and pray they learn to make wise decisions.

My little cutie loves the camera

2009-06-05T13:06:00.000-07:00

We had a video talking about how boring it can get with two kids MIA for a week but it was too choppy. But I just had to put this one up of my cute little fella watching himself in the camera.

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Life Without Kids

2009-06-03T19:24:00.000-07:00

Two of our kids have been out of town with their grandparents for the past four days. We were hesitant about letting them go because they are such active boys at this age. We know how much work they take so you really have to be up for the challenge. Even still, we did see the free time as an opportunity for more uninterrupted couple time, wink wink.

After the kids left we didn't know what to do with ourselves so we worked on the yard and garden together and even wasted a little time playing with the XBox. We tried hard to remember what we were doing with our free time before we started having children. It feels weird not having someone jumping in your bed early in the morning saying, "Cereal, Daddy? Cereal, Mommy?"

The baby seems to be enjoying his time as an only child temporarily. He hasn't had to cry as a result of being teased all week. That's one happy baby. Too bad it's all coming to an end for him soon.

One thing we can say is that we certainly had enough time to workout. We got to workout uninterrupted for a change. When we say workout, we really mean we worked out-weight lifting, running, and everything else we felt like doing. Now that we have fallen into a new routine we have to prepare for the return of the kids. No more sleeping in. No more uninterrupted workouts. No more eating in peace. People who have only one child don't know how easy they have it. Yet, we wouldn't change it for the world.

Kids Do the Darndest Things

2009-05-31T17:55:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I wonder what in the world is wrong with my kids. Then, I remind myself that they are acting their age. I was laying on the bed nursing the baby and my hard-headed 3 year old was pulling the drawers out of my chest of drawers. Of course he didn't stop when I told him and the whole thing came tumbling down on top of him. The lamp and my jewelry box flew across the room. My heart pounded as I jumped off the bed and tried to pull the dresser off him. Fortunately, Darian was there to help. Finally, the dresser was in an upright position again. Marcello was crying as if his world was ending. That was understandable. He was frightened and hurt. Wait a minute! Where was he? He was in the closet! How in the world did he end up over there? He couldn't explain it so I guess we will never know. Kids.
~Shalanda

The American Dream is a nightmare!

2009-05-28T19:54:00.000-07:00

Nice house, 2 cars, new clothes, 2-1/2 kids, and a dog-all a part of the American dream, so we're told. Unfortunately, many of the people living this dream are in debt up to their eyeballs. As for us, we have the starter home, the 2 cars, decent clothes and the kids. Whether or not to get a dog has been an ongoing discussion that will remain up for discussion until the kids are old enough to provide most of the care.

In an effort to live our debt free American dream we have come up with a plan. Sell our home-even though the market is terrible for sellers, pay off all credit cards, and pay off all loans. So far, we have managed to pay off one car and are a couple of thousand away from paying off the minivan. Three credit cards down and two to go. The biggest pain may be here for awhile-student loans. We are going to do some serious celebrating when those things get paid off.

Our plan is to 1. write down all bills, 2. write down all expenses (groceries, eating out, gas, etc.), 3. pinpoint unnecessary expenses, 4. take the extra money from unnecessary expenses and have an automatic draft into another account. The goal is to minimize spending & maximize saving and investing. We've done steps 1, 2, & 3. Boy could we eat out less. If we stick to our plan maybe one day we'll be on the Dave Ramsey show yelling into the phone, "We're debt free!!!"

Mysterious Moose

2009-05-27T19:23:00.000-07:00

I believe every parent has that one child with that one, bad habit. Well, my oldest son has been sucking his thumb ever since he was a baby. Darian and I have spent four years trying to break that dreaded habit and nothing has worked, at least not until tonight.

We had a pretty good day today. I got some "me" time at the beauty salon after 8 months of doing my own hair in order to save money. Then, the five of us went to the Tanger Outlets in Bluffton, SC to do some window shopping and to get Darian out of the house. He's on a 3 month vacation with the Navy and doesn't know what to do with himself until they ship him off to OCS.

Anyway, while we were there we ate at the Cornerstone Grill. All three of the kids were fascinated with this huge, lifelike moose head that was hanging from the wall. The two-year old kept saying, "Moose going to fall down on me. Moose going to fall down off wall." So me, in my moment of brilliance, said the moose was going to knock on their windows if they are bad and suck their thumbs. Darian smiles at me in agreement.

Let's skip ahead to bedtime. Baths have been taken, bedtime stories have been read. Caleb, the four-year old, decided he was going to suck his thumb to help him fall asleep-his usual routine. I loudly say that the moose is going to come get him. The next thing I know I hear the front door open. I walk down the hallway. Darian's gone. All of a sudden I hear this loud, repetitive knocking on Caleb's bedroom window. Seconds later, the two-year old is in the hallway whining about the moose coming.

Caleb and the baby come running from the back room. Baby Nathan looked more confused than scared. Mr. Thumbsucker was terrified. He shot past me and shut and locked the front door just as Darian was stepping onto the porch. He says, "Close the door, Mommy! The moose is out there! The moose is out there!" To make a long story short-I was finally allowed to open the door to let Darian back in and everyone eventually calmed down and went back to their rooms.

Needless to say, Caleb fell asleep without his trusty thumb and I feel like a terrible mother. Is tramatizing your child out of thumb sucking in lieu of a high dental bill worth it? Hmmm. We'll see how he does tomorrow night.

2009-05-26T12:44:00.000-07:00

We get asked the same questions over and over so why not put them in our blog?

How long have you two been together?
Eleven years-we dated for 4 years and have been married for 7 years.

How did you meet?
As teenagers, our neighborhoods were in walking distance of each other. Sometimes, we saw each other when we were hanging out with our friends. We started getting to know each other in the 8th grade and became good friends sometime in high school, around the 10th grade.

Why did you decide to start dating?

Shalanda's version
We were on the school bus oneday and the boys were saying off the wall comments to the females like immature boys do. Well, Darian decided to join in and said something about my breast size being small. Anyway, I thought he was a real jerk and I think I rolled my eyes at him before getting off the bus.

Later that day, I was in the living room with my dad when Darian came by and apologized. As I watched Darian walk away, I turned to my dad and said,"he's not like the other guys, he's different." I made up in my mind that I wouldn't try to date him until the time was right. I had really strict parents and my dad was good at running guys away.

I really knew Darian was different and worth keeping around when we started college and my dad tried his hardest to discourage us from dating. Darian never asked me for sex and unlike the other guys, he kept calling and coming by despite my dad's negative comments. Here we are 3 kids later.

Darian's version

Most of that is on point. However, I did not say her breast size was too small. What had happened was...Shalanda and her friend were talking about filling in a shirt or cup sizes (something I still don't quite understand till this day). Not knowing exactly why I said it, I said, "Oh, you don't have to worry about that." As soon as the words rolled off my tongue I proceeded to insert my foot. There was a strange silence in the air for about 3 seconds and everything was moving in slow motion. The look that came over Shalanda's face was like Craig's on Friday when he went to pour the milk in his cereal and... "drip, drip." I am not quite sure who else heard me. I really did not care. I don't even remember if it was when we were going to school or coming home. I pray it was coming home, because it was excruciating knowing I had just embarrassed one of the sweetest (and finest) girls I have ever met and I did not want that feeling to last any longer than it had already had.

Well, I got home and commenced to writing a letter asking she forgive my immaturity. Not sure what I said in the letter. I just wanted to redeem any chance of her talking to me again. That was more than a decade and a half ago. Wow!! Maybe it was providence that caused me to blurt out such a crude suggestion (I swear I did not mean anything by it). May be it was the proverbial opposite attracting its mate. I being immature and she being mature. Whatever it was I am glad it happened. You just never know...

When are you going to try for that girl?

NEVER!!! Adoption is an option we have considered though.